what robert blake and i have in common
03.02.05 (1:35 pm) [edit]
i might as well do this. i've been sitting around for about the past ninety minutes waiting for court tv online to get their shit together so i can watch the robert blake closing arguments. i got to see about ten minutes of it before they went on break and they haven't been up since then. that really pisses me off. i've been really looking forward to this for at least a week now. wait. i have to check back in to see if they've miraculously gotten their collective heads out of their asses and gotten their server up. nope. shit.
do i think he's guilty? hell yes. just look at him. there's definitely some darkness taken up long term residence inside his head. you can see it in his eyes. or maybe that's just because i have an intimate familiarity with psychosis. back during the early seventies when he was flushed with the success of "baretta" and getting a divorce from his wife, i had the pleasure of seeing him as he crashed and burned in his own self destructiveness. i clearly remember him announcing on the "tonight" show "the fox is back." that's scary. apparently no woman would actually be crazy enough to get involved with him until ms. bakely came along. we all see how that ended. his kids say he was a fabulous dad who was lots of fun. i have an enormous amount of difficulty believing that.
i've also heard him talk about his childhood. it was bad. really bad. that's also how i know he's guilty. my own personal experience as an abused child is additional proof. of course i never killed anyone, although i was certainly pushed right up to the edge many many times. i guess we were all just lucky that i didn't know where the bullets to my dad's rifle were. in case you didn't know already, abused children don't always behave like good people.
there was a time in my life when i was a very not nice person. i was always kind to my friends and to people i thought had some power to cause me problems, but those who didn't fit those two categories had reason to be cautious with me. i just didn't give a shit. when i was in my early twenties, i had a job that just brought out the very worst in me. it was at the local college and i was supposed to sit in a room with three other people and enter numbers into a database for eight hours a day. i might have been able to endure that, but i detested those three people i worked with.
my boss was this guy who was clearly just waiting for retirement. i don't think it was too far away, but my ability to accurately guess ages was pretty limited at the time. he liked to tell us about going home every day and working in his wood shop until one or two in the morning. i distinctly remember wondering how his wife felt about that habit. after i'd known him for a while, i figured his wife was probably thrilled that he was out of the house. well, except for the noise.
we got along okay until he started to be controlling. the building we worked in was just on the edge of a neighborhood where the majority of residents were black and hispanic people. there were also a fair number of students who lived there and i lived there a couple of years after i left the job. i had a habit of spending break and lunch times outside under some lovely old trees. it gave me a chance to decompress enough to be able to stand what i was doing and who i was doing it with.
one day as i prepared to go outside with my book (i think i was reading a multi-volume bio of henry james at the time), this asshole told me i wasn't going to be allowed to go out there anymore. know why? he couldn't guarantee my safety. jesus fucking christ. it wasn't like there were muggings going on every day and we didn't have anything remotely like drive-by shootings. as a matter of fact, i suspect it was safer to be there than the area commonly known as "the drag," right across the street from the university. when i was a student there, i was regularly harassed by street people who thought i must be flush because i was attending college. the idea that sitting outside under some oak trees was dangerous was just laughable. it was yet another indication that i was in the company of people who had teeny, tiny minds. that was the beginning of the end.
oh look. court tv is back up now that they're on lunch break. i'll have to finish this tale tomorrow. here's the quote of the day:
"An enemy generally says and believes what he wishes." ~ Thomas Jefferson
america held hostage day 1876
bushism of the day:
"I want it to be said that the Bush administration was a results-oriented administration, because I believe the results of focusing our attention and energy on teaching children to read and having an education system that's responsive to the child and to the parents, as opposed to mired in a system that refuses to change, will make America what we want it to be—a literate country and a hopefuller country."
—Washington, D.C., Jan. 11, 2001
website of the day; Sweet Fancy Moses
http://www.sweetfancymoses.com/" title="http://www.sweetfancymoses.com/" target="_blank"http://www.sweetfancymoses.co...
do i think he's guilty? hell yes. just look at him. there's definitely some darkness taken up long term residence inside his head. you can see it in his eyes. or maybe that's just because i have an intimate familiarity with psychosis. back during the early seventies when he was flushed with the success of "baretta" and getting a divorce from his wife, i had the pleasure of seeing him as he crashed and burned in his own self destructiveness. i clearly remember him announcing on the "tonight" show "the fox is back." that's scary. apparently no woman would actually be crazy enough to get involved with him until ms. bakely came along. we all see how that ended. his kids say he was a fabulous dad who was lots of fun. i have an enormous amount of difficulty believing that.
i've also heard him talk about his childhood. it was bad. really bad. that's also how i know he's guilty. my own personal experience as an abused child is additional proof. of course i never killed anyone, although i was certainly pushed right up to the edge many many times. i guess we were all just lucky that i didn't know where the bullets to my dad's rifle were. in case you didn't know already, abused children don't always behave like good people.
there was a time in my life when i was a very not nice person. i was always kind to my friends and to people i thought had some power to cause me problems, but those who didn't fit those two categories had reason to be cautious with me. i just didn't give a shit. when i was in my early twenties, i had a job that just brought out the very worst in me. it was at the local college and i was supposed to sit in a room with three other people and enter numbers into a database for eight hours a day. i might have been able to endure that, but i detested those three people i worked with.
my boss was this guy who was clearly just waiting for retirement. i don't think it was too far away, but my ability to accurately guess ages was pretty limited at the time. he liked to tell us about going home every day and working in his wood shop until one or two in the morning. i distinctly remember wondering how his wife felt about that habit. after i'd known him for a while, i figured his wife was probably thrilled that he was out of the house. well, except for the noise.
we got along okay until he started to be controlling. the building we worked in was just on the edge of a neighborhood where the majority of residents were black and hispanic people. there were also a fair number of students who lived there and i lived there a couple of years after i left the job. i had a habit of spending break and lunch times outside under some lovely old trees. it gave me a chance to decompress enough to be able to stand what i was doing and who i was doing it with.
one day as i prepared to go outside with my book (i think i was reading a multi-volume bio of henry james at the time), this asshole told me i wasn't going to be allowed to go out there anymore. know why? he couldn't guarantee my safety. jesus fucking christ. it wasn't like there were muggings going on every day and we didn't have anything remotely like drive-by shootings. as a matter of fact, i suspect it was safer to be there than the area commonly known as "the drag," right across the street from the university. when i was a student there, i was regularly harassed by street people who thought i must be flush because i was attending college. the idea that sitting outside under some oak trees was dangerous was just laughable. it was yet another indication that i was in the company of people who had teeny, tiny minds. that was the beginning of the end.
oh look. court tv is back up now that they're on lunch break. i'll have to finish this tale tomorrow. here's the quote of the day:
"An enemy generally says and believes what he wishes." ~ Thomas Jefferson
america held hostage day 1876
bushism of the day:
"I want it to be said that the Bush administration was a results-oriented administration, because I believe the results of focusing our attention and energy on teaching children to read and having an education system that's responsive to the child and to the parents, as opposed to mired in a system that refuses to change, will make America what we want it to be—a literate country and a hopefuller country."
—Washington, D.C., Jan. 11, 2001
website of the day; Sweet Fancy Moses
http://www.sweetfancymoses.com/" title="http://www.sweetfancymoses.com/" target="_blank"http://www.sweetfancymoses.co...
