blindsided
02.23.05 (3:47 pm) [edit]
this is turning out to be a peculiar week. i wrote an entry on tuesday, but i keep forgetting to do what's necessary to post it. the upshot is, the thompson suicide has thrown me for something of a loop. the phone rang on tuesday evening and hubby answered it, not the answering machine. in my head, i heard my father's voice on the machine. the thought suddenly struck me that i'll never hear my dad's voice again. well, of course i already knew that, but it was a wrenching thought nonetheless. then for some reason, i glimpsed a commerical (i think) which touched another resonant chord. i couldn't figure out why i was having these flashbacks. then it dawned on me that it might have had something to do with hunter thompson's suicide. sometimes i'm a little slow on the uptake.
that hasn't been the end of it. once these memory jags get going, there's just no stopping them. the really annoying thing about it is that i never know what's going to trigger them. so for the time being, my dad has taken up occupancy in my brain. this morning i started thinking about him telling me that assisted suicide should be legal, but the "young people" didn't want that. i told him that i agree that people have the absolute existential right to check out anytime they wish. i pointed out that the problem with legalized assisted suicide is that elderly and/or disabled people might feel some pressure (even if it's only internal) to opt for death so that they'll cease to be a problem for family. i'm certain that came up because some news program was doing a report on assisted suicide in oregon, the only state that currently allows it. by the by, i'm now profoundly ambivalent about it assisted suicide .
so there you go. i've also been nauseous for a couple of days now. i'm guessing it's an allergy thing, but who the hell knows. i just wish it would go away.
i can see the first buds of leaves on the trees outside my window. one of my resident squirrels is chowing down, along with a number of birds. the sun is shining for the time being, which is good news, because it's been gloomy this week and it's supposed to be rainy tonight and tomorrow.
on the feral kitty front, i've managed to pet the new black and white kitty and the gold baby kitty. they're not too crazy about it, but at least they're not freaked out when i touch them. the black and white kitty has taken to following me around and, when i sit down on the bench or the cement patio, she comes close, lies down on her back and gives me flirtatious looks. what a silly girl. yet another black and white baby has shown up, along with another black baby. it seems like an eternal procession of babies. i think the moms have just decided that this seems like a pretty good place to drop them off when the babies are weaned.
the tusk seems to be feeling much better and we've sort of gotten into a rhythm now. of course, miss woo always wants to participate. i'm still wrapping his prescription dog food into little bundles of thinly sliced ham and there's no way she's going to miss out on ham.
here's the quote of the day:
"I think that taking life seriously means something such as this: that whatever man does on this planet has to be done in the lived truth of the terror of creation, of the grotesque, of the rumble of panic underneath everything. Otherwise it is false. Whatever is achieved must be achieved with the full exercise of passion, of vision, of pain, of fear, and of sorrow. How do we know ... that our part of the meaning of the universe might not be a rhythm in sorrow?" ~ Ernest Becker
america held hostage day 1869
bushism of the day:
"The California crunch really is the result of not enough power-generating plants and then not enough power to power the power of generating plants."
—Interview with the New York Times, Jan. 14, 2001
website of the day; Foundation for the Homeless
http://www.foundationforthehomeless.org/ABOUT.htm#" title="http://www.foundationforthehomeless.org/ABOUT.htm#" target="_blank"http://www.foundationfortheho...
that hasn't been the end of it. once these memory jags get going, there's just no stopping them. the really annoying thing about it is that i never know what's going to trigger them. so for the time being, my dad has taken up occupancy in my brain. this morning i started thinking about him telling me that assisted suicide should be legal, but the "young people" didn't want that. i told him that i agree that people have the absolute existential right to check out anytime they wish. i pointed out that the problem with legalized assisted suicide is that elderly and/or disabled people might feel some pressure (even if it's only internal) to opt for death so that they'll cease to be a problem for family. i'm certain that came up because some news program was doing a report on assisted suicide in oregon, the only state that currently allows it. by the by, i'm now profoundly ambivalent about it assisted suicide .
so there you go. i've also been nauseous for a couple of days now. i'm guessing it's an allergy thing, but who the hell knows. i just wish it would go away.
i can see the first buds of leaves on the trees outside my window. one of my resident squirrels is chowing down, along with a number of birds. the sun is shining for the time being, which is good news, because it's been gloomy this week and it's supposed to be rainy tonight and tomorrow.
on the feral kitty front, i've managed to pet the new black and white kitty and the gold baby kitty. they're not too crazy about it, but at least they're not freaked out when i touch them. the black and white kitty has taken to following me around and, when i sit down on the bench or the cement patio, she comes close, lies down on her back and gives me flirtatious looks. what a silly girl. yet another black and white baby has shown up, along with another black baby. it seems like an eternal procession of babies. i think the moms have just decided that this seems like a pretty good place to drop them off when the babies are weaned.
the tusk seems to be feeling much better and we've sort of gotten into a rhythm now. of course, miss woo always wants to participate. i'm still wrapping his prescription dog food into little bundles of thinly sliced ham and there's no way she's going to miss out on ham.
here's the quote of the day:
"I think that taking life seriously means something such as this: that whatever man does on this planet has to be done in the lived truth of the terror of creation, of the grotesque, of the rumble of panic underneath everything. Otherwise it is false. Whatever is achieved must be achieved with the full exercise of passion, of vision, of pain, of fear, and of sorrow. How do we know ... that our part of the meaning of the universe might not be a rhythm in sorrow?" ~ Ernest Becker
america held hostage day 1869
bushism of the day:
"The California crunch really is the result of not enough power-generating plants and then not enough power to power the power of generating plants."
—Interview with the New York Times, Jan. 14, 2001
website of the day; Foundation for the Homeless
http://www.foundationforthehomeless.org/ABOUT.htm#" title="http://www.foundationforthehomeless.org/ABOUT.htm#" target="_blank"http://www.foundationfortheho...
