weekend update
01.17.05 (3:29 pm) [edit]
it finally dawned on me yesterday that my life has been altered for the forseeable future by my huskie's diabetes. last week i kept waiting for friday to come, knowing i seriously needed a rest. it's been so stressful trying to figure out what's wrong with him, then getting his glucose corrected. the problem is that the diabetes isn't going to go away. duh. he has an ultrasound scheduled on wednesday and they're going to keep him all day so they can do multiple checks of his glucose level. the goal is to find out when his insulin peaks and when it's at its lowest. i have no idea how that's going to help me, but i guess i'll find out then.
starting the week again with that numbed out feeling. i hate the way it feels, but i think that's the only way i can make it through the day here. there are so many work-related issues that i can't resolve, so the only option that remains is to just not feel. i'm really good at it. i had lots of practice growing up and it feels very familiar to me...almost like it's normal.
not much going on this past weekend. i watched "secret window" with my mom and i kept thinking, "this seems familiar." turns out i had seen it before with my husband. nonetheless, i still didn't remember how it ended. it was just as well, really, because i couldn't find anything at the video store that i wished to see or that i wished to see with my mother. sunday was spent cooking food for Mr. T. we also watched a movie on the lifetime network.
i've been seriously curtailing my free-spending ways until i can determine what's wrong with my boy and how much it's going to cost to treat him. we just spent $1,000 on the car on friday and i have a dental bill that's right around $1700. is it any wonder i've completely halted all spending unless absolutely necessary?
the money thing always rattles my cage. i grew up with such financial insecurity that i can flip out pretty easily about it. it's a big part of my need to feel safe. i immediately go into panic mode and start thinking about taking on a second job. as if my health wouldn't be compromised if i did.
boring myself. here's the quote of the day:
"Can anybody remember when the times were not hard and money not scarce?" - Mark Twain
america held hostage day 1834
bushism of the day:
"One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures."
website of the day: M.K. Gandhi Institute for Nonviolence
http://www.gandhiinstitute.org/" title="http://www.gandhiinstitute.org/" target="_blank"http://www.gandhiinstitute.or...
starting the week again with that numbed out feeling. i hate the way it feels, but i think that's the only way i can make it through the day here. there are so many work-related issues that i can't resolve, so the only option that remains is to just not feel. i'm really good at it. i had lots of practice growing up and it feels very familiar to me...almost like it's normal.
not much going on this past weekend. i watched "secret window" with my mom and i kept thinking, "this seems familiar." turns out i had seen it before with my husband. nonetheless, i still didn't remember how it ended. it was just as well, really, because i couldn't find anything at the video store that i wished to see or that i wished to see with my mother. sunday was spent cooking food for Mr. T. we also watched a movie on the lifetime network.
i've been seriously curtailing my free-spending ways until i can determine what's wrong with my boy and how much it's going to cost to treat him. we just spent $1,000 on the car on friday and i have a dental bill that's right around $1700. is it any wonder i've completely halted all spending unless absolutely necessary?
the money thing always rattles my cage. i grew up with such financial insecurity that i can flip out pretty easily about it. it's a big part of my need to feel safe. i immediately go into panic mode and start thinking about taking on a second job. as if my health wouldn't be compromised if i did.
boring myself. here's the quote of the day:
"Can anybody remember when the times were not hard and money not scarce?" - Mark Twain
america held hostage day 1834
bushism of the day:
"One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures."
website of the day: M.K. Gandhi Institute for Nonviolence
http://www.gandhiinstitute.org/" title="http://www.gandhiinstitute.org/" target="_blank"http://www.gandhiinstitute.or...
