Bitch bitch bitch
I am, among other things, what used to be referred to as "a woman of a certain age." I'm over 50 and I'm good with that. Fifty is a very liberating age, even if you don't have breast cancer to remind you of whom you truly are. Be happy with you, because you're great just the way you are.
Nonetheless, I've been in a general quandary about what's appropriate (or not) for women my age to wear. To help enlighten myself and avoid embarrassing fashion faux pas, I subscribed to a magazine aimed directly at my demographic.
I've come to dread its bi-monthly arrival. The magazine is filled with articles about women who've quit their unsatisfying, soul-killing but lucrative careers to pursue their personal career bliss. Without fail, these women have somehow managed to find the work they love that puts food on the table and pays the monthly mortgage. Imagine my distress.
I'm stuck here in Crazy Land, doing things that I generally don't like to do...or doing nothing at all (unless you count weblog activity as work-related). I'm the primary wage earner in the family, I have breast cancer, personal debt in addition to a mortgage payment and, of course, the rising costs of fuel, food and medication. Stuck.
I resent the beaming faces and glowing testimonials to branching out on your own, opening a knitting store, a cozy bed and breakfast, etc., etc., ad nauseum. Looking at them makes me feel like a failure and a coward. I am a failure because, even when my job here was highly demanding, it was without question nothing that I ever liked and always underutilized my brain power and creativity.
Next, the age-appropriate fashion. How many of us can afford a "bargain" $300 dress for work? Or a $150 pair of jeans, paired with a $200 pair of espadrilles and a $150 shirt? Even if I could afford it, I wouldn't. Clothing costs make me absolutely crazy. I like clothes. A lot. I don't indulge my desires as much as I used to; the changes breast cancer makes to one's body doesn't inspire a great body image.
I shop at sales. I mean 80% off sales. Even at that discount, I still couldn't afford anything like the prices cited as "reasonable" in any magazine that features knock-offs of high fashion looks. I don't want to look like Meryl Streep; I just want to look classy and elegant. People generally say I do. I think that has to do with the way I (used to) carry myself and the fact that I was genetically blessed with a tall, slender frame. We all know I work out like a maniac when I'm capable (in between breast cancer tortures). I try to eat right. So I look okay, without spending lunatic amounts of money.
Nonetheless, I'm sick of being made to feel like a disappointment to my generation for not achieving enough, looking good enough, being healthy enough, not climbing a mountain, not raising a perfect family while having an enriching career.
Where am I going with this? Nowhere. I just had to say. I'm not, repeat not going to read this month's article about gourmet cooking on a $400 a week budget. Furthermore, you don't like what I'm wearing? You think I shouldn't be wearing these shoes because they're too young-looking? As it turns out, I don't really care. Welcome to fifty.
posted by: gillymac (reply)
post date: 07.25.07 (2:10 pm)
hahahahahaha - stick it to the man ggirl!
I'm right with you - at pennys. Or wal-mart (even if they do, or did until Michael Moore shamed them out of it, sell ammunition to minors) When I lived in Chicago i got a really nice bathing suit in wal-mart for like, I dunno, 99c or something. Which was cool. Now that i'm "plus size" i.e. fat, I get ripped off as far as clothing goes - consistently. Not only are the clothes awful (generally) we have to pay 3 times the price because the Bangladeshi schoolgirl making them (for a wage of about 5 bucks a century) has to work to a bigger pattern. I ask ya, its enough to make you heave.
Thought of the day - soon, I'll wake up, find Bobby Ewing in the shower (strangely appropriate as he was also the man from atlantis) and everything will be just like it was before.
Theres no place like home. Theres no place like home. Theres no place like homeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...
posted by: mimi (reply)
post date: 07.25.07 (3:57 pm)
oh, dear! am i "jiggy wid'ja" on this one! OMG! if i had your way of writing, breast cancer or no, these words could have come out of my own head! i think i would cancel my subscription to that magazine and just what, look online? i don't have the answers, but except for that fact that i am 5'2" and "rubinesque", i am right there with you...let's do lunch and check out the thrift stores! perhaps we can open up a business together. LOLOL!
xoxox
posted by: ggirl (reply)
post date: 07.26.07 (6:45 am)
Reply to:gillymac
"Fat." Bad word. I like mimi's word better--rubinesque. I used to shop at Wal-Mart, too, but then I discovered even more reasons to hate them besides the Bangladeshi girl and the selling ammo to minors thing. Well, that and the fact that the place is enormous and I don't even have the energy to make it through the parking lot. I'd have to camp out half way.
If you woke up and found Bobby Ewing in the shower, he could afford to buy all that stuff in the magazine I hate so much. ;-)
posted by: apyjo (reply)
post date: 07.27.07 (5:29 pm)
Rubinesque is good Mimi!
I can't find any clothes that work from WallyWorld.
Also I think the heavy chick fashion world is prejudiced against pear shaped woman (boxy straight cut shirts and pockets on my hips look awful on me ).
I swear there's a magazine torturing us gals through ever phase of our lives .
Air brushed women with fabu lives that cook like a dream, work like demons and possess mad love making skills for their SOs .
I'm taller than Mimi!
And the both of us are just slightly taller than circus folk it seems !*grin*
((ggirl))
I hope you feel better soon.
posted by: FinalyFree (reply)
post date: 07.27.07 (8:39 pm)
Is there a ROSS store in your area? I have no clue where this chain lives and doesn't, but if there is and you've never shopped there, give them a chance. Of course, it's a bargain place--it it weren't I wouldn't be shopping there, heh! I seem to find things there when I can't find them anywhere else.
I have the same problem, I never really know what's age-appropriate for a 42 yr old grandmother. I have no desire to wear 'hip-hugging' jeans, yet I'm not quite ready for the 100% polyester 'White Stag' line either!
posted by: ggirl (reply)
post date: 07.31.07 (8:01 am)
Reply to: apyjo
What is with fashion people anyway? We've all bitched about this forever and they just keep making clothes for imaginary size 2 women.
You're right. Magazines have been making us feel like failures all of our lives. We should find all the editors, line them up, make them put on some 4 inch high heels, panty hose and undergarments with industrial-strength spandex and shoot the whole lot of them.
posted by: bronwynj (reply)
post date: 07.31.07 (5:58 pm)
I laughed at "Imagine my distress." :-)
Possibly those women who've found their bliss have a spouse's income to rely on as well?
What does your husband do?
Surely you may wear any shoes you like?! (Especially if you have well cared for/good looking feet.) I love beautiful shoes, but I can't wear the heels I used to be able to as a younger woman (too painful now), & I have large feet, so comfortable but still attractive shoes are very hard to find. :-(
I'm about 5'5", which I consider medium height, & I am, let's face it, obviously fat (which is so unfair). My shopping choices in this rural small town are limited to a Country Target (can only find the occasional "bottom" there, tops are too form fitting), or a boutique where clothing is 3 times or more the prices at Target. It's rare that I've bought from mail order & been totally happy with the fit - sometimes I've had to pay to have clothing adjusted.
Hey g, it could be worse! hehe
