Demon Dog

Demon Dog

I have a one-year old adolescent husky mix dog.  We're going through those teenage, rebellious years and it's wearing me down.  They're not grown when they're a year old.  They're not adults until they're at least 3 years old.  I learned that this morning as I desperately searched the Internet for help in correcting behavior problems, specifically biting.

Andy (formerly known as "Wolf") gets overly excited, just like all males.  When he's tired and needing to sleep, he goes absolutely crazy.  He jumps on the sofa and shoves his head in between the cushions (which he knows is Bad Boy).  While he's there, he bites me.  A lot.  Really hard.  It's not so much an aggression thing as a crazy thing.  He knows that's Bad Boy, too.

He just started this acting out about a week ago.  My hands and arms are covered with cuts (where adolescent dog teeth dug into my flesh) and bruises.  I look like an iv drug user or something.  I've started to wear long sleeved shirts, even though the weather is decidedly warmer these days.  So now I look really weird.  I have to wear this vest-like bra which peeks out of virtually all of my shirts and now I can't even wear short sleeves.  

This is ruining my reputation as friend to all creatures not human.  My mom thinks I deserve it because that's exactly the way I was when I was a baby.  I don't think I bit, but I'd do anything to stave off sleep.  Of course, that's because my life was terrifying and that made it really hard to sleep, but that's neither here nor there.  We don't take that into account.  Furthermore, Andy's life is anything but terrifying. 

I always thought one of the advantages to having dogs/cats vs. children was the fact that they never rebelled and got tattooed or pierced.  As far as I know, Andy hasn't managed to get anyone to do either of those things.  But it could happen.  I also thought they were cheaper because you don't have to pay for college.  I won't be paying for college, but I see some serious puppy-training classes in my future.  They're not cheap, folks.  Neither are bandages and antiseptic in massive quantities. 

I'm re-thinking the whole animal paradigm.  Not that it matters because I'm going to have to do whatever it takes to get Andy out of his Steve McQueen phase and into something a little more submissive.



posted by: surrogate (reply)
post date: 03.15.07 (6:39 am)

Threaten to pierce his ears and have "bad dog" tattooed on his paw.

Wait.

He might like that.

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