Character Friendly

"Life is a series of experiences, each of which makes us bigger, even though it is hard to realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and grievances which we endure help us in our marching onward." ~ Henry Ford

I just wrote this long post about forgiveness and...poof!....it disappeared. This must be a sign or something. I'll wait until another day to start over.

I've been working on getting a new Husky this morning. My old friend, Bill, from whom I got my original two huskies, is out of the rescue business. I thought he might be, because when I was in touch with him last, around ten years ago, he was fairly elderly. There are a couple of dogs who are being fostered here and I'm trying to get in touch with the foster parents to set up a meeting. If all else fails, there are a couple of huskies at the animal shelter.

I'm seriously contemplating giving up on the foster dogs so that maybe I could save one of the shelter huskies from death. I've always thought going to the animal shelter would be a terrible idea for me. I'm so much more connected to animals than to humans and I'm not sure I could bear leaving the shelter without taking all of the dogs who seem to be in the most danger. I may go by there over the weekend.

I saw my psychiatrist yesterday. She was seeing an elderly patient when I got there and I ultimately ended up waiting about an hour past my appointment time. To make up for that, I suppose, I got extra time and a slight discount on her exorbitant rate. We talked about breast cancer a lot. She did her residency with M.D. Anderson, so she knows more about treatment than your average psychiatrists.

She told me that everything I've been experiencing is not unusual. She gave me some Ambien samples because I've been waking up five or six times a night for the past several weeks. The doctor asked me why; I have no idea why. She thought perhaps I'm afraid I won't wake up. Well, that's possible. Like most people, I can be pretty good at keeping secrets from myself. The important thing is that the Ambien worked and I slept all night for the first time in a long time.

Other than that, she thinks I'm pretty mentally healthy. She asked me if I've been having an existential crisis, wondering why I'm here and whether my life has any purpose. No. What I have been wondering is why the universe keeps screwing up my life.

I talked about my belief that we choose what happens to us here. She resisted the idea, thinking that I believe my life to be some kind of punishment. That's not it at all. I think we get to choose which lessons we need to learn. It turns out I'm just very ambitious. I apparently want to learn a lot. If that's the case, then so far, so good.

America held hostage day 1674

Bushism of the day:

"I mean, if you've ever been a governor of a state, you understand the vast potential of broadband technology, you understand how hard it is to make sure that physics, for example, is taught in every classroom in the state. It's difficult to do. It's, like, cost-prohibitive." - Washington, D.C., June 24, 2004