Andrea Yates

“Doubt is to certainty as neurosis is to psychosis. The neurotic is in doubt and has fears about persons and things; the psychotic has convictions and makes claims about them. In short, the neurotic has problems, the psychotic has solutions.” ~ Thomas Szasz

“severe mental illness like psychosis can lead to a tragedy like this -- that people can see things that aren't real and hear things that aren't real and believe things that aren't real, and act in that distorted reality.” ~ Andrea Yates

I grew up with a psychotic parent. A very fucking scary psychotic parent. I have a foot in both camps--that of an abused child and that of an adult who understands how helpless people are to overcome their own psychosis. It has an enduring grip on them. I've had a few arguments about Andrea Yates. Here in Texas, we believe in punishing people. My friends find it difficult to understand how I can defend her, given my own history. I hold a lot of people responsible for what happened to her children. At the top of the list is her husband. He knew she was sick and he knew that she shouldn't be left alone with the kids. So why was she left alone with the kids? I hold her doctors responsible. She could only get whatever treatment her insurance company would cover. I hold Andrea responsible for not recognizing her own mental instability and following her treatment plan. That doesn't mean I don't have compassion for her. I can't imagine how it must feel to wake up every day, knowing you murdered your own children. Not only that you murdered them, but that there was some struggle to accomplish that feat. Her children did not wish to die. In her dreams, does she seee their faces as she held them underwater? I don't see much point in inflicting further punishment on her. I don't think there's anything we could do to her that would be worse than what she's done to herself. In her moments of clarity, she understands the monstrous nature of her behavior. I think we should face the facts and send her to a prison for the criminally insane. That's where she's been spending most of her time, anyway. On the other hand, I grew up in some fear that my father might kill me. It was not an unreasonable fear. I can imagine the terror her child faced as Andrea chased her through the house, caught her and drug her back to the bathroom, back to the bathtub with feces and vomit from the other children. I can not imagine looking up at your mother's face as she holds you underwater. Yes, it makes me angry for them. It makes me angry for all children who suffer at the hands of their parents. It makes me angry for the child I was. It's an interesting, but not unfamiliar equipoise. It's a conundrum I have yet to resolve. How much responsibility does the psychotic parent have? How much does the non-psychotic parent have? I anticipate a much closer look at those issues as we embark on another trial.

America held hostage day 1518

Bushism of the day: "It's totally wiped out. ... It's devastating, it's got to be doubly devastating on the ground." --turning to his aides while surveying Hurricane Katrina flood damage from Air Force One, Aug. 31, 2005